sunday scaries: 25/08/2024

Sound the alarms.

There are no more pretty men.

Where are the Abercrombie & Fitch-looking men??? Apparently, nowhere to be found because this week, as I carried out my daily tasks, I came to realize that at no point during my day did I marvel at the beauty of a man.

My theory is this: All the good-looking men have converted to Sassy Man-ism.

The bane of my existence is the Tier 3 Sassy Man (keep reading and you’ll get it).

He knows TikTok trends, rolls his eyes at you, and believes he deserves to be pampered—honestly, it is outrageous, and we as women need to stand up for our rights and abolish them. As men become sassier, it forces us women out of our pink, glitz, and glam world and into more masculine roles.

Now listen, I believe that women can do anything and everything, but I also believe that it should be a choice. Yes, I could buy him all the presents in the world and make him feel the most special, but I should want to do that—he should never make me feel like I have to.

There are different types of Sassy Men:

1. A little Sassy, but mostly acceptable
   He’s mostly a good guy but has his sassy moments. When he’s not in a good mood, he rolls his eyes and sighs a lot, and while at first it’s a little cute, the bad mood lasts almost too long, and he starts getting a little bitchy. He is only a Tier 1 Sassy Man because, although he is slightly sassy, he apologises afterward. Good.

2. Sassy
   He’s a sassy boy, but he embraces it. He complains about your reply times, makes catty comments about your outfits, doesn’t plan dates, and when he does, they are not the greatest. He has a Pinterest board for his outfits (👀), and sometimes he looks better than you, which is too far (it’s ridiculous). He loves a Lost Mary and doesn’t kill spiders. The good thing is, he’s a built-in best friend, and you probably have the best laughs with him.

3. Sassiest
   This is where Sassy and Toxicity overlap because this man thinks he is God’s very best gift to the world, often thanks to a mother who views her son more as her boyfriend than her son (oops). Sometimes, the most attractive men end up being the sassiest because they’ve been adored and gassed up their entire lives, to the point where they genuinely think they are a blessing to everyone’s life and believe that they should be treated as such. YUCK.

I would happily accept the Tier 2 Sassy Man, but the Tier 3 Man NEEDS TO GO.

In other news, the magazine drop is getting closer and closer, and it’s all starting to feel pretty real now. I got a sample a few days ago, and while she is looking perfect, she was a little thin (she’s on Ozempic), so I’ve had to add 20 more pages to her. The grind is on, but I am weirdly enjoying it.

I have been thinking about One Direction a lot this week, and I think it really is time for them to reunite because this ‘hiatus’ is getting a little ridiculous now. They shaped a huge part of my childhood, and I mean that in the way that I wrote over 25 fanfictions about either being adopted by Louis Tomlinson or marrying him.

If they came back, I’d pay over £10,000 for a ticket. I mean, I’d literally sell my liver.

I’m not kidding.

Also I think I am going to watch all the Hunger Games Movies tomorrow #peenis ( I hate Gale for real)

25/08/2024 Wishlist ⭐️⭐️⭐️

• Tier 3 Sassy Man abolishment -

• A pair of Flabelus flats 

• A spot at the NYU Magazine and Digital Storytelling Graduate Course 

• New bedhseets

25/08/2024 Songs 🪩🪩🪩

• Loyal - PARTYNEXTDOOR, Drake 

• Die With A Smile - Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars

• Wishes- Tiny Habits 

• Picture You - Chappell Roan

• Skin Tight  - Mr Eazi, Efya 

this weeks moodboard: firmly a girl x