Is University Really That Great, or are We All Just Pretending?
By Lottie Tragatschnig
No one talks about how lonely and disappointing University can be for some people. We spend so much of our lives looking forward to the ‘best years of our lives’ only to realise, for some of us it’s nothing like the experience we imagined it to be. Only around 20% of us actually enjoy it and the rest choose not to speak about how sad we are throughout these years until we go into adulthood feeling worse than we did in our teens. So, when reality hits - when lectures feel uninspiring, friendships don’t come easy, or nights out leave us feeling emptier than before - it’s hard not to internalise the disappointment as a failure.
But the truth is you’re not alone. So many people are quietly navigating this same route, afraid to admit that they’re not having “the time of their lives”, like everyone else seems to be having. Maybe that’s the problem - we’re all performing, posting and filtering our lives to fit an ideal that doesn’t actually exist. No one posts about eating alone in your room or crying over yet another unread group chat. No one mentions the creeping doubt that maybe they chose the wrong course or the wrong place altogether.
If you’re feeling this way, it doesn’t mean University is a lost cause or that you’ve somehow failed to “do it right.” The best years of your life won’t be confined to any single moment or experience - they’re scattered throughout the journey. And the most important lesson of all might just be learning to let go of those unrealistic expectations.
What’s more, there are ways to reclaim your experience, even if it looks different than you imagined. It starts with being honest - with yourself, with others, and with the world. Reach out to someone who seems to be struggling too; chances are, they’ll be grateful you did. As someone that still struggles with the idea of University, I wished someone would have been there to just take me for a coffee after a lecture, to just knock on my door saying ‘come on we’re going for walk now’, or even just to watch a movie together. Try out new things, even if they feel outside your comfort zone. And most importantly, remember that there’s no “right way” to do University. No matter how you navigate it, you’re growing and learning in ways that matter far more than the social highlight reel society keeps telling you to chase.
Why is it that we’re so scared to sit with our sadness, to actually let ourselves feel it? We live in a world that glorifies resilience, pushing us to slap on a smile and pretend everything is fine. So I started to wonder, what if we just… didn’t?
What if we allowed ourselves to be messy, vulnerable, and real? I’ve never believed in bottling things up. If you’re heartbroken, cry until your chest aches. If you’re lonely, sit with that feeling and let it teach you something about yourself. Faking it might get you through the day, but feeling it will get you through life.
It’s funny how the smallest, silliest rituals can remind us how to let go. Re watching Grey’s Anatomy the other night, I found myself inspired by Meredith and Cristina’s “dance it out” moments - two women facing unspeakable stress but taking a few minutes to throw their hands up and just dance. I won’t lie it looked ridiculous, yet it made so much sense. So, after another late-night FaceTime with my ex (don’t even get me started on this, thats a topic for another article) - I decided to try it.
I shuffled through my Spotify and landed on Billy Joel. Not exactly club music, but hey, it felt right. In my pyjamas and slippers, in a room so small I could touch both walls at once, I let myself dance like a complete fool. No rhythm, no grace - just flailing arms and bad footwork. And you know what? It worked. For ten whole minutes, I felt free. No judgment, no pretending. Just me and the music.
And sometimes, that’s all it takes - a moment to shake off the weight of the world. Not because it fixes everything, but because it reminds you that you’re still here, still moving, still capable of joy, even in the smallest ways. It’s not about solving the sadness, but learning to live alongside it without letting it consume you.
My advise to you is, please don’t ever sit in your Uni room and lock yourself away thinking you’re not good enough. You are stronger than you think you are.
And with that I am going to leave you with another one of my favourite quotes: “What you are not changing, you’re choosing.”
