The Single Friend

by Joda Amankrah

Being the single friend is waiting for your last single friend to get snatched up, dreading the moment they come back from a date and say it went well, because selfishly, everything is okay if she’s single too.

Being the single friend is the look of quiet sympathy your friend and her boyfriend give you when they are about to go on a date, and you’re on the sofa with an episode of whatever Netflix show it is, and a cup of tea lounging in your hands.

Being the single friend is having a Pinterest board pieced together with dozens of romantic photos that you’ll one day take with your future boyfriend.

Being the single friend is going on family holidays every summer, or girls’ trips, but never those one-on-one romantic getaways.

Being the single friend is lying in bed, your salt lamp on, your music oozing through the air, and being happy because you've got yourself, and that is enough.

Being the single friend is lying in bed, crying, wondering if you must be unworthy of love.

Being the single friend is sharing your friends with their boyfriends.

Being the single friend is never having to explain your naps, or why you haven’t responded in five hours.

Being the single friend is watching all your friends hit relationship milestones—anniversaries, moving in together—while you silently wonder when it will be your turn.

Being the single friend is constantly being asked, "When are you going to get a boyfriend?" as if love were something you could just schedule into your life.

Being the single friend is mastering the art of independence, filling your life with hobbies, self-growth, and solo adventures.

Being the single friend is learning that your worth isn't defined by your relationship status, but that doesn't always stop the pang of loneliness on a Sunday morning.

Being the single friend is a journey of loving yourself fully, even when it feels like the world is telling you that you need someone else to complete you.

Being the single friend is discovering the beauty of solitude, but still leaving a little space in your heart for the hope that someone might come along to share it.