LOVE FROM: September is my January

September is my January. A reflection from the month. 

By Lizzy Welch

You should probably be listening to: ‘Changes’ by Butterfly Boucher and David Bowie 


As I open my one hundredth new planner, with the most basic inspirational quote on the front, I am reminded that it is my favourite time of the year again.

September!


In the same way I used to feel refreshed after the summer holidays before school started back up again, waltzing into my brand new classroom with my new dazzling patent shoes and whatever trending bag at the time on my arm, I still find September to be a breath of fresh air and a clean slate. It is a month where I begin to reflect on the past year, just like the average Joe does in January, and I think about the changes I'd like to make moving forward.

I don't know why I find September to be such a brain blitz for me, but it is. I would like to think my brain was out of the whole academic year thing by now but clearly not, and I am not complaining. 

I am the kind of person that will come up with a thousand different plans and protocols that should lead me onto a path of success. I don't always know what success I'm looking for, but I tend to believe that by following these new routines, I will figure that out along the way and reach the amazing destination of structure, peace and calm. Unfortunately, my brain doesn’t work that way. 

I find it extremely difficult to implement changes into my life that actually stick. I always have and believe I always will. However, whilst being in this new, refreshed state of mind, I have been doing a lot of reflecting. I realised that actually, all those changes I've wanted to make, even going back to when I was as young as twelve, I actually have integrated into my life. Just not necessarily at the time in which I originally wanted them.

It's become apparent to me recently that I spend an awful lot of time looking to the future and picturing what I'd like to be, have, or want in ‘x’ amount of years, rather than focusing on what I have now, what I'm doing now and more importantly what I need now. Due to this, I often tend to implement changes into my life that are either unobtainable or at the very least, unrealistic. For example, for a girl that, if she were to label herself as one of the two, the term ‘night owl’ would definitely be the fitting identification. Therefore, setting a new daily routine revolving around getting up at six o’clock in the morning and doing a whole skincare routine was never-ever going to work. Especially not when this was the ‘plan’ at age sixteen. 

All of these seemingly great and effective changes are wonderful. If they fit the person and the lifestyle that they have or seek… However, I would often forget that watching a thirty year old youtuber’s daily routine would not really fit around my fourteen year old schedule. Unfortunately, I have spent many of my September’s trying to implement big mature changes and have ended up inevitably failing miserably. 

This year, I've decided to seriously sit down and think of how I can focus on the real hiccups I am facing and make serious and realistic changes in my life that I can keep up. To do this, I realised that I needed to find out where I was going wrong before, and the truth is, I was trying to be more mature

A word used by teachers and parents to patronise young adults and make them feel that they aren’t acting to a standard that everyone else in their age group is. Strangely, we never saw anyone our age acting the way in which was ‘expected’ of us. I however, seemed to take that on strongly and would do my absolute best to meet those expectations. It didn’t work, and can you guess why? 

Because I wasn’t ready!!!

It turns out that getting up at a reasonable time was never going to happen for me before the age of twenty two, nor was I going to want to drink more water over squash or cut out ‘unhealthy habits’. By trying to meet these goals as a teenager I was setting myself up for failure. All I was doing was trying to do things that I felt other people would see as successful changes, when in actual fact it was just not for me yet. Year after year I would set up a whole ‘new plan’ (The exact same one as the year before) and for a week I would succeed. I would feel so put together and feel as though I was finally doing what I felt was the right thing. Until I began to fall off and spend the rest of the ‘year’ waiting for the next September to try again. Beating myself up for not doing enough of this or too much of that. 

This was a super important realisation for me this year, as it has allowed me to embrace my little irritating habits that I have at the moment, as I know and trust that actually, if I want to be doing things differently for my future self, I'm sure my future self is already doing them differently. What is most important for me right now, is to find realistic and exciting changes that can improve how I am and feel day to day! Whether that's having more baths rather than showers because they feel nicer, or taking twenty minutes to breathe and listen to the outside world rather than the online one. Start writing more, or watch more documentaries because I find them enjoyable and I always learn something from them. It's these fun and easy things that will create the bigger longer lasting changes in my life.

Whilst every other September refresh I have used my new diary/planner to jot down all my new routines to implement, this year, I am dedicating it to memories I would like to make and ways in which I can feel genuinely happier. The truth is that yes, having a good routine and structure in your life is really important for stability, but trying to conform to strict rules and guidelines to do so is so BORING. 

No one wants a boring life. Do they?

So what if my aim is to be in bed asleep by eleven to get a good eight hours and I stay up a couple hours later watching my new favourite show? It’s seriously not the end of the world, but by trying to force these unrealistic standards and beating myself up for inevitable falling back into old ‘bad’ habits will start to feel like it. By letting myself indulge in these little moments, it has allowed me to actually be easier on myself, and in turn the positive changes I've been making in my life have been way more successful. 

So, a message to my younger self, and to any younger person reading this: 

Give yourself a break. Stop trying to match the false narratives you see on social media and trust in your adult self to adapt and change, and stop forcing it. You’re literally a baby, and that's not me trying to patronise you, but instead reassure you that you have so much time to be an adult, but not that much time to sit in your youth. Don’t worry if you decide you don’t fancy doing any school work one night, because you are not going to remember that specific day you decided you couldn't be arsed. Create goals that include things like laughing more, taking yourself less seriously or meeting up with friends more. Because these are things that will make beneficial changes for you at this point in your life. Save the boring structural stuff for when you're older because you’re not going to take any of it on board and will spend the next five to ten years repeating it all until you realise it was stupid! Think of all the time you'd save and fun you could have.

So, if you’re like me and you are more of a September refresher rather than a January resetter…


HAPPY NEW YEAR! 


Not new year, new you. New year, same you - with more positivity and happiness! 


Love from, a girl with no clue x 

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