"Love in Overdrive: Are We Romanticising Life Beyond Reality?"
By Aggie Tweedie
When the leaves turn from green to orange, the clock begins, and the Autumn to Winter countdown starts. Something about this is a catalyst for nostalgia. It is Childhood’s best friend, Adulthood’s archnemesis and Romanticisation’s twin sister. All ages tap into it. It’s September, the beginning of school, partying at uni, of wearing more layers, starting adult jobs (ew!) etc, etc. And from this stems viral videos and romanticisation of the cooler months.
A form of optimism: romanticism is similar to wearing ‘rose-coloured glasses’ – it's making your life look like a movie, or a Pinterest board, or imagining a soundtrack while you buy yourself your daily coffee. And while it does look at the favourable pleasures of the situation, does it go further and eliminate any traces of negativity, promising only positivity? And do brands and social media exploit this?
This is seen already since the premature end of summer for England. Mazzy Star, Gilmore Girls and Orange filters have slowly diffused into my social media feed and Tiktok must buys have changed from form fitting party dresses to chunky knit wear and cute travel mugs.
Summer cocktail recipes have made a U-turn for intricate Starbucks copycat recipes and cinnamon obsessed sweets, and aesthetic inspiration videos focus solely on Bridget Jones. It is unavoidably romantic and puts a wholesome spin on the less than wholesome grey days we are starting to see.
I wholly indulge in it too and sit here writing with a mug of hot chocolate and listening to Adrienne Lenker, dreaming about my next soup recipe and pair of slippers. However, I’m aware I use it to cope – my friends have just left for uni, I’ve decided to stay at home and I’m left to romanticise the countryside life and embrace the nothingness. For that, I thank TikTok , Instagram and the creators that make edits of Autumn and autumnal playlists (I’m currently making one now) as I’m sure without it, I would fall into an existential spiral that always accompanies me with winter.
It is undoubtedly a great way to move into a new season and potentially a new era of life, to embrace change and even push yourself to take risks. There is no question on whether I condemn or condone romanticism, however, has it gone too far, and has it become obsessively consumerist? And why do we fall for it every year? (pun intended).
Could it be to cope with change? We start with looking at the positives to cope with the weather changes and lifestyle moves (waking up earlier for school, moving away from home etc.) in order to combat the more uncomfortable habits that come with winter.
However, more unfortunately, it’s not just us doing it, brands have also caught on and target seasonal changes and this optimism to get us to buy their products.
They decide our value on whether we buy the must have fall lipstick. They latch onto the idea of retail therapy and promise the cosiest winter if we buy their new cookie butter lotion, or the snowiest Christmas if we purchase a coffee syrup. When inevitably the optimism of new products = fun winter that they promise does not equate, we are left with less money, disappointing products and another unhealthy coping mechanism.
It is here where I disagree with the overuse of ‘romanticisation’, because although most of the time it is harmless nostalgic videos, it is when brands or influencers weaponize it to determine your value to get you buying, creating a whole new beauty standard to live up to.
Unfortunately, I write this as a consumer and a critic, and though I disagree with the brands dominating their hold over social media and the use of romanticisation, I often indulge in it and feel it is just a good tool to have fun in fall.
It turns a little harmful though, when it weaponises enjoying a season to selling a product. It takes advantage of our seeking positivity in change, and sets us up with expectations that inevitably fall through.
So I finish this off with no cure or tonic that instantly stops overexcitement followed by seasonal brooding, however, I do write in the hopes it will help you be more conscious about romanticising your life, and checking in with your mood, mental health and coping mechanisms.
In terms of advice for shopping less in the winter months (especially when it feels like your whole wardrobe is dusty), is to be more realistic with yourself. Once it gets cold, will you really wear that overpriced knitted jumper that’s too thick to wear a coat over? Or those shoes that aren’t waterproof or comfy? I’ve found from my own habits as well as what I’ve seen on Pinterest, is that the coolest girls re-wear things and use accessories to give them confidence. So maybe skip the new coat, and buy some funky hair-clips or a good quality scarf!
Romanticisation can be a good thing, and getting excited about recipes you will make or movies you will watch, is no bad habit, as long as you are checking in with yourself, your mood, and your expectations for the winter to come.
With that, I can happily say I will be turning this off and finding a Julia Roberts film to watch and will probably be in bed by 9.
