Love Languages & Showing That You Care
Love Languages & Showing That You Care
By Daisy Stonier
Showing our adoration and care for the people we love on Valentine’s Day can sometimes become a little stressful when inspiration is low and our daily routine is feeling repetitive. Stuck in the habitual cycle of buying a card and some chocolates can be a little underwhelming when February 14th rolls around again (Cadbury Milk Tray anyone?), but having some thoughtful guidance in the form of Love Languages could be the saviour for your cupid concerns. Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, and Receiving Gifts, are the Five Love Languages explored by Gary Chapman in his 1992 book. Shared online today as a playful, light hearted way to express love, these love languages can show your effort and admiration in a way that is most special and meaningful to your partner.
Taking a look into how to express each love language, this article is here to bring you some caring advice to elevate the love you show to your partner (or friends and family with some adjustments!) this Valentine’s Day, and in the year going forwards. Taking the quiz below is the easiest way to start discovering yours and your partner’s individual love language before we begin:
https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language
Words of Affirmation ❤️🔥*reminder - post handwritten note*
Feeling uplifted and supported through words is all someone wants with the Words of Affirmation love language. Adding small compliments amongst your day to day routine is a simple way to make your partner feel positive and appreciated, which is very much needed with the winter blues still hanging on- spring couldn’t come sooner!!
Top Tips:
Make your compliments more meaningful by adding a specific detail about why you love ‘x’ about them
Catch them off-guard, compliment them in casual and unexpected moments - even a trip to Tesco can include a compliment now and again
Compliment both looks and personal traits, it’s really nice to be complimented for things such as strength, admiring their work ethic, being a kind friend etc
Change up your delivery, why not try a handwritten note, especially if giving compliments in person is a little scary for you.
Quality Time ⏰*book off February 14th for the special trip*
Carving out one on one time can feel all the more special when the busyness of day to day life takes over. Time planned out just for you and your loved one ensures those with the Quality Time love language feel acknowledged and cared for, with more in their calendar than just ‘work’.
Top Tips:
Pre-plan activities that you want to do together so that they’re set in the calendar and you don’t miss out on that quality time together. ‘HowBout’ is a great app for managing multiple schedules and finding free time in your relationships!
Make sure your plans involve doing something that you enjoy as a couple, so you can interact with one another, and experience it together, rather than an individual or mundane task - maybe this time the food shop doesn’t really count…
Remember the plans can be inexpensive and simple! Maybe a movie night, try a new recipe together at home, or just go for a walk. Sometimes the easiest plans can make the most memories.
Physical Touch 🫂“...have I given them a hug today?”
Physical Touch is perfect for providing reassurance for your partner, and for reminding them you’re thinking of them without the need for words.
Tops Tips:
Take note of the situation and environment - sometimes when you’re out and about simply holding hands or a hand on the back can be all is needed for some calm reassurance
Increase comforting touches in moments of anxiety for your partner. If you know it’s a situation they find anxiety provoking or stressful, it can be really nice for this to be preempted with physical touch to calm them before this anxiety rises
Be the one to initiate a hug or holding hands etc, although it’s lovely to act when they ask you to, it can feel really nice for them to have you think to physically comfort them first
Acts of Service 🫀To-do:
Take something off their chores for the day
Expressing your love through thoughtful actions makes Acts of Service individuals feel cared for and appreciated. Taking some pressure from their daily routine and providing them with a service to make them feel relaxed and grateful is what is needed for this love language.
Top Tips:
Take note of things they struggle with or chores they don’t enjoy, and opt in to take that stress away from them, for example cooking the dinner unprovoked, taking out the bins (...actually the worst for us all tbh), or making the bed in the morning. Or maybe you don’t live together yet, so a thoughtful action, like dropping them off some breakfast, is perfect to take some of the burden off from their day.
Make it part of your routine or set a reminder on your phone if you are prone to forgetting or it doesn’t come naturally. Sometimes we are stuck in our ways and routines, so taking on someone else’s role might be challenging, but slowly implementing and staying consistent is key. *siri… add fold washing to my reminders*
Think about your own strengths and what you enjoy providing for them, because it’s also important for you to feel happy to be doing something for your partner, and showing your willingness to carry out this act of service for them
Receiving Gifts 🫶concernedcupid@icloud.com your order number is #W1LLY0UBMYVAL3ENT1NE
A little treat to fill the week is always special, especially when it’s sentimental, personalised, or unexpected. Receiving gifts allows your loved one to feel as though they’ve been thought about and considered in your life, and treated lovingly in your relationship together.
Top Tips:
Make it personalised! Etsy is a great place to go for sweet, personalised gifts, and shows you’ve gone to that extra effort to cater your present for your partner
Do a little research - if you’re struggling with finding gifts that your loved one will appreciate, ask their friends/family, or subtly bring it into your conversations with one another to find out their likes and dislikes, and anything they may have waiting on their wishlist in their notes app
Wrapping is just as important as the present itself. Take some time to wrap your gift in paper, or pop it in a decorated bag, to show your attention to detail and thoughtfulness
