TikTok’s wrong — You Don’t Need To Be “wifey material” In Your Twenties (Or Ever)

23 Apr

Written By Emily Shapton

Tiktok’s wrong — You Don’t Need To Be “wifey material” In Your Twenties (Or Ever)

By Emily Shapton

To even begin to explain what ‘wifey material’ means, it seems you have to ask a man (ironic). Apparently, they have all the answers and thoroughly enjoy publishing those answers (opinions) all over social media, especially Tiktok.

These men are normally around my age (21) and are apparently looking for a wife? (They have probably led three girls on this week).

It is important to note that these types of men do actually exist in the real world (you’ve been warned) and enjoy showing their genuine disgust toward us young women when we mention doing fun activities such as dancing (disgusting, I know), and going out with our friends and not them.

I am fortunate enough to say I am not dating one of these strange men and therefore my freewill seems to be very much intact. However, that does not mean that I am not subjected to baffled looks when I’m on a night out and decline a man because I have a boyfriend (I think he is struggling to understand why I’ve left the house).

Despite having always had strong feelings on this subject, what made me want to actually write an article about this was a silly Tiktok that I watched recently. A boy ( always at the scene of the crime), was saying something along the lines of:

‘blessed because my girl is on the stairmaster and in bed by 9pm’

This made me think… firstly is she a child? Or is it a work-night? Don’t get me wrong, I am a sucker for an early night and a routine, but that is not because a man has deemed it desirable, that is simply because I choose to live a healthy life during the week; I work and cannot think of ANYTHING worse than doing my 9-6 hungover.

I can confirm that I am definitely not ‘wifey material’.

I can cook to feed myself, but I wouldn’t really ever offer my food to someone else (for their own sake).
I love going out and being independent and spending time with my friends.
I go to the gym but I am good at time management so seem to be able to fit going on the stairmaster and going out all in one day (amazing, I know).

I. do. Not. Want. To. Be. What. These. Men.Want.

When I reach the age where I perhaps want to be a wife, I’m guessing I’ll be at least a little different. I will have experienced character development because I’ve been creating life lessons and experiences for MYSELF. My frontal lobe will have formed, and I might even know something about taxes ( that’s slightly optimistic).

But even then, I’ll still have freewill and I promise, I will NEVER not be doing something just because my husband said I couldn’t.

The point is, I know that dating in this generation is a little terrible , but you don’t need to try and change yourself to find yourself an insecure man who’s most likely out doing all the things he doesn’t want you to do.

Firsthand, I’ve seen so many of my friends stop doing all the things we used to love doing just because a man told them to. If a man is questioning your actions and not allowing you to do things… well you need to have a long hard think about how he views you as a person.

What I’m trying to say is that, what makes you ‘wife material’ isn’t you saying at home and cooking for your boyfriend; if that is what you enjoy and what YOU want to do, then go ahead! Save me a plate too please!

For those of you who feel like you have to change yourself to conform to what some men think is ‘wifey material’, what truly makes you ‘wifey material’ is the trust, kindness and security that you show both yourself and your partner. It’s not the refusing to go out because your boyfriend said so, its that you don’t have wandering eyes (ew) and that you put energy into everything that made you, YOU before they fell in love with you AND maintaining your loving beautiful relationship.

Your twenties are a time for growing and finding out who you are. You can do that with a partner or without one but one thing is for sure: don’t let yourself be defined by an arbitrary list of constraints made by terribly insecure men xx

RelationshipsMen

Emily Shapton

TikTok’s wrong — You Don’t Need To Be “wifey material” In Your Twenties (Or Ever)

Tiktok’s wrong — You Don’t Need To Be “wifey material” In Your Twenties (Or Ever)

By Emily Shapton

To even begin to explain what ‘wifey material’ means, it seems you have to ask a man (ironic). Apparently, they have all the answers and thoroughly enjoy publishing those answers (opinions) all over social media, especially Tiktok.

These men are normally around my age (21) and are apparently looking for a wife? (They have probably led three girls on this week).

It is important to note that these types of men do actually exist in the real world (you’ve been warned) and enjoy showing their genuine disgust toward us young women when we mention doing fun activities such as dancing (disgusting, I know), and going out with our friends and not them.

Despite having always had strong feelings on this subject, what made me want to actually write an article about this was a silly Tiktok that I watched recently. A boy ( always at the scene of the crime), was saying something along the lines of:

‘blessed because my girl is on the stairmaster and in bed by 9pm’

I can confirm that I am definitely not ‘wifey material’.

I can cook to feed myself, but I wouldn’t really ever offer my food to someone else (for their own sake).

I love going out and being independent and spending time with my friends.

I go to the gym but I am good at time management so seem to be able to fit going on the stairmaster and going out all in one day (amazing, I know).

I. do. Not. Want. To. Be. What. These. Men.Want.

But even then, I’ll still have freewill and I promise, I will NEVER not be doing something just because my husband said I couldn’t.

The point is, I know that dating in this generation is a little terrible , but you don’t need to try and change yourself to find yourself an insecure man who’s most likely out doing all the things he doesn’t want you to do.

Firsthand, I’ve seen so many of my friends stop doing all the things we used to love doing just because a man told them to. If a man is questioning your actions and not allowing you to do things… well you need to have a long hard think about how he views you as a person.

What I’m trying to say is that, what makes you ‘wife material’ isn’t you saying at home and cooking for your boyfriend; if that is what you enjoy and what YOU want to do, then go ahead! Save me a plate too please!

Your twenties are a time for growing and finding out who you are. You can do that with a partner or without one but one thing is for sure: don’t let yourself be defined by an arbitrary list of constraints made by terribly insecure men xx

BABSIIMAG@GMAIL.COM

TikTok’s wrong — You Don’t Need To Be “wifey material” In Your Twenties (Or Ever)

Tiktok’s wrong — You Don’t Need To Be “wifey material” In Your Twenties (Or Ever)

By Emily Shapton

To even begin to explain what ‘wifey material’ means, it seems you have to ask a man (ironic). Apparently, they have all the answers and thoroughly enjoy publishing those answers (opinions) all over social media, especially Tiktok.

These men are normally around my age (21) and are apparently looking for a wife? (They have probably led three girls on this week).

It is important to note that these types of men do actually exist in the real world (you’ve been warned) and enjoy showing their genuine disgust toward us young women when we mention doing fun activities such as dancing (disgusting, I know), and going out with our friends and not them.

Despite having always had strong feelings on this subject, what made me want to actually write an article about this was a silly Tiktok that I watched recently. A boy ( always at the scene of the crime), was saying something along the lines of:

‘blessed because my girl is on the stairmaster and in bed by 9pm’

I can confirm that I am definitely not ‘wifey material’.

I can cook to feed myself, but I wouldn’t really ever offer my food to someone else (for their own sake).

I love going out and being independent and spending time with my friends.

I go to the gym but I am good at time management so seem to be able to fit going on the stairmaster and going out all in one day (amazing, I know).

I. do. Not. Want. To. Be. What. These. Men.Want.

But even then, I’ll still have freewill and I promise, I will NEVER not be doing something just because my husband said I couldn’t.

The point is, I know that dating in this generation is a little terrible , but you don’t need to try and change yourself to find yourself an insecure man who’s most likely out doing all the things he doesn’t want you to do.

Firsthand, I’ve seen so many of my friends stop doing all the things we used to love doing just because a man told them to. If a man is questioning your actions and not allowing you to do things… well you need to have a long hard think about how he views you as a person.

What I’m trying to say is that, what makes you ‘wife material’ isn’t you saying at home and cooking for your boyfriend; if that is what you enjoy and what YOU want to do, then go ahead! Save me a plate too please!

Your twenties are a time for growing and finding out who you are. You can do that with a partner or without one but one thing is for sure: don’t let yourself be defined by an arbitrary list of constraints made by terribly insecure men xx

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BABSIIMAG@GMAIL.COM