3 ways to settle into your year abroad
I hated Spain until about a week and a half ago: I hated the fact that I did a course in Spanish and I hated the fact that I was in a country where I couldn’t understand the language, couldn’t understand the customs and was basically clueless about everything.
Only about a week ago did I start feeling okay and I realise that it was because I basically gave up trying to like the place, I gave up on trying to be happy ( which sounds more depressing than it seems) and I basically just decided to go with the flow.
It’s really not the most inspiring or revolutionary piece of advice but I’m being honest. I felt like I’d had enough of being fake and telling my friends back at home about how much I liked it and when I stopped, I found that I started to genuinely enjoy myself (shockkkkerrr)
ANYWAYYYY, I’m going to try and give you 3 tips to enjoy your year abroad because it’s not picture perfect and it’s not always going to be the dream that you imagined, in fact to me, ( up until like 7 days ago) it was an absolute shit show.
MY TIPS:
get up and try and do something
When I got here and when I eventually realised how sad I was, I really didn’t want to do anything. I wanted to stay in my apartment and watch my friends ( who are all at university together right now) on Snapchat, Bereal and basically any form of social media that existed. I’d make myself sadder, make myself more jealous and compare the way that I knew they were living, to the way that I was sadly existing.
I started doing things that I would do at home (like literally wasting away in a cafe) but that literally made me feel so much better than any of the other stuff that I had been doing i.e. clubbing, going to the beach and going to pubs with people that I didn’t know/like (oooooops) I’d been treating Spain as some sort of holiday destination when in reality, it is going to be ‘home’ for the next year, so when I started acting like this was the life that I was going to lead for the next year, things improved immediately.
2. If you’re sad + homesick, admit that you miss home and your own life, but get on your zoom, DON’T DWELL !!!!
I am incredibly talented at feeling sorry for myself, in fact, I could really take it up as a full time job.I knew I was feeling sad so I overindulged myself: after language school, I would go back to my room and cry so hard that my friends would text me saying that they could hear me through my doors… I’d call my mum and just cry, I’d watch my ‘one year ago today’ on Snapchat and literally want to disapear.
DO NOT DO THIS – it is bad and it means that you’re in a constant loop of sadness. I knew that I was sad, but I started to just get over it and kind of accepted it as a feeling. I knew I was sad but I’d get on with it and hang out with my friends even, unfortunately for them, if I was still in a bad mood. Basically, it’s okay to be sad, but DO NOT DWELL ON IT.
3. Surround yourself with people that you actually like…
I can recognise that I was incredibly lucky to have met a big group of people when I got here, they were all really lovely and it was nice to have a group of people that I could always do something with. I initially put a lot of pressure on myself to get stuck in and establish deep relationships with the people from this group but slowly, after many bad club nights and disgusting hangovers, I realised that a lot of them actually weren’t my type of people and I was putting a lot of effort into friendships that probably weren’t very real. I grew increasingly frustrated with the process of making new friends and felt that a lot of the time, I was doing things that other people wanted to do which would often leave me feeling as though I was chasing after a group of people that: 1. I didn’t really know and 2.Didn’t particularly gravitate towards.
I soon found people that I felt like myself with, people that made me feel SO comfortable and people that kind of reminded me of my home friends and I feel like as soon as that happened, a weight was taken off of my shoulders. I felt like I wasn’t forcing myself to do things, I didn’t feel like I was having to expel loads of energy to form friendships and that was/ and is amazing.
My tips are very personalised to my experience but they could help you out, and obviously as the most omniscient person in the world, I suggest you follow all of my tips hehe.
ANYWAY, if you’re struggling on your year abroad, you are not alone, it’s not always as amazing as you think it would be.
TAKE MY ADVICE!